FOMO – Thefear of missing out…
I only learnt this term in the last few weeks but I know the feeling very well.
The idea that if I don’t have something, turn up somewhere or be with certain people, I may miss something so important that I will feel terrible…. Really though??
That fear probably helped me make some of the worse decisions in my life, I probably bought things I didn’t need, I probably went places I shouldn’t, with people I shouldn’t, actually missed what was important and left others feeling hurt and disappointed.
Funny how nothing ever happened that great, there was no life changing experience and the same old consequences were waiting at the end.
So in many ways you would think entering recovery I would have left ‘FOMO’ behind but oh no, now I think I am missing out on things because of my recovery…
I can’t see certain people, I don’t go to certain places, don’t drink or use drugs and occasionally get a dose of poor me I am missing out on all that fun.
The reality is the fun stopped long ago, by missing out on those things I have gained so much more. I have a life worth living, I am good to those around me and theconsequences of my actions today make people smile.
Of course it’sdifferent, I may need to find new ways to have fun with friends or socialisebut that doesn’t mean I am missing out.
Mark often. talks about his biggest win and his biggest loss – neither relate to a monetary figure his biggest win is stopping gambling and his biggest loss is time that the can’t get back. So when he speaks of missing out it is often done in thepast tense i.e. what he has already missed out on because of gambling and thefact his only fear is he doesn’t miss out on anymore – that drives him forwardand keeps him in recovery.
When I feel like I am missing out I only have to look around at all I have in my life and the people who are still by my side to see I am not missing much these days.
I am grateful and whilst there is things I don’t do – I don’t truly miss them very much at all!!
